Handfasting

 Handfasting- Pause for thought

(as you race to get hitched!)

Eternity?

Eternal love is possible but an eternity together is seldom achieved; upon this physical plain ‘forever together’ is a romantic a notion, more suited to a fairy tale than to reality; it simply is not a practical enough approach.

Do not let your heart rule your head, keep an equal balance between the two.

Love is wonderful but when we make our partner the very foundation of our existence it more often than not becomes a disaster waiting to happen; and it is equally as disastrous if we allow ourselves to be the foundation stone of our partner’s life. Such total dependence is not healthy, we need to build our own lives firm and secure through self worth and knowledge, and then offer this complete package to lovingly compliment our partner’s life. In this way love and desire hold the two of you together in a union of trust and positivity, not a union of dependability through fear of loss or being alone, which only fosters concepts of ownership.

Remember partnership does not constitute ownership.

Setting aside all human attributes of love and loyalty that might and could promise the two of you forever togetherness, there is also death, it is the wild card in the pack; a free agent that respects no-one. It is therefore always good to maintain ‘me’ time, to keep your individuality and not get so totally submerged within togetherness that your ability to stand alone is impaired.

I am not trying to be a fatalist, just the voice of a realism, for in maintaining your own inner strength you will be able to face separation should it occur, from whatever life may throw at you. My advice is no different than a sensible and caring mother who checks each time their child gets in the car saying, “Have you fastened your seat belt”.

May sincerest wish is that you remain happy and well.

Blessings.

TalogWitch 

Loving Partner Ritual

Do this at noon when the sun is overhead and hot, not a cool day. You need solitary undisturbed time, a pen and paper, a fire proof dish and matches or a lighter. Wear a hat, or have a parasol if necessary.

Start;

Sit and think long and hard about the qualities you’d like within your partner, then take the paper fold it in half then open it again; on the first side in the top quarter write all these positive attributes and virtues, take your time and be honest. Then in the bottom quarter write all the attributes you don’t want them to have. When you have finished turn over the paper and list your own faults and failings in the top; then below list the ways you intent to improve or compensate for these imperfections. You do not have to apologise for them but you must acknowledge them for they are part and parcel of you. When you have eventually finished make the paper into a fan and fan yourself saying:

“Maat, Mother of Truth I sit in the heat of this noonday hour, And humbly acknowledge your mighty power, 
I accept your justice here below,
For well my flaws and faults you know.
You balance all, and all is weighed,
And by our actions we are paid.”

Maat is the Goddess of Justice favoured by the Egyptians, she is the gentle pursuer of truth, by comparison to her many other fearsome counterparts who bring the just vengeance of retribution. So it is to Maat you make this supplication. As you sit quietly alone in the sun close your eyes, and meditate asking for her assistance. Imagine yourself in Egypt at midday, three millennium ago, when the world was a simpler place. You are in the Valley of the Kings, climbing up a pyramid into the eye of the sun and its intense heat to meet Maat herself. You feel humbled at the magnitude of her Sun energy and are fully appreciative of its potentiality. At the very apex you stand, reaching out your hand you post your list into the fire ball. As your list is consumed in flame, the Sun’s fiery ball becomes the smiling female face of Maat, then it is gone.  Slowly you walk back down the pyramid, out of the Valley, and back into the reality of where you are sitting in the warmth.

Now take your fan and put it in the fireproof dish and set it alight. If there already is a fire for cooking nearby you could just walk across and put it into the flames. Watch your intentions turn into the very essence of Maat, her flames of judgement; as she consumes it say: "Just and benevolent Maat my witness be," 
You who govern my future, know also my hopes.
Be kind to me.  As I will so mote it be."

Now go in truth and enjoy your adventure to find partnership and true love. But remember tath in requesting Divine help you have agreed to abide by Maat's rules of balance; also remember you may be asked to be patient, in which case it's not good responding like a spoiled child and screaming "I want it now!"

Handfasting

Article written for Witchvox

By TalogWitch

After many years of research, and the enjoyment of helping fellow ‘craft’ sisters prepare the material practicalities of their Handfastings I decided that it was time to seriously think of re-instating the credibly of this most ancient rite; the argument that it is outdated is indeed itself outdated, for the wheel has turned full circle.

My second area of motivation is the sheer sadness and sense of hypocrisy I experience at seeing this simple and basic rite of a loving partnership made complicated by the ridiculous mechanics of modern gender struggle and religious indoctrination.

“But what,” many non Pagans may ask, “is a Handfasting?” And there in a nutshell is our problem; the ignorance that now exists due to the systematic brainwashing of indoctrination through persecution of the last 1000 years.

It is one of humanities oldest ritualistic celebrations, far preceding all concept and ideas of formal religion or cultural expectation. Contrary to widely held beliefs it is not the sole domain of Wicca, the modern face of Paganism, which is barely 200 years old; nor is it anti Christian heresy from the burning times, nor any other form of anti Christian aggression or opposition.

It is in fact the most ancient act of union dating from the dawn of time; the freely given loving declaration of two individuals, deriving from a time of innocence when gender and persuasion, though significant to the begetting of children, were not encumbrances for the union of a loving partnership.

Long ago there was a time when love was naive and uncomplicated, progress has brought many improvements, but in striving onwards with intellect blazing much has been long the way, trampled underfoot.

And the saying is true- “When ignorance is bliss ‘tis folly to be wise”.

Although time has continually brought progress there is

no need, nor ever has been, to sacrifice old wisdom to make way for the new; unfortunately history serves to remind that this fact has eluded humanity for at least the last 3,000 years.

During the Handfasting rite the couple joyously and honestly profess their love and commitment to a balanced harmonious partnership founded upon mutual equality. These declarations are made to one another in the presence of the Divine, residing in which ever aspect of Divinity one perceives. Their vows are spoken aloud, individually in turn, shared and witnessed by all present, declaring with total honesty their mutual loving intent, and acceptance of one another as they are, without exception. This is their truth and hopefully will last as long as love endures.

The Rite requires at least two witnesses as the impartial advocates of this truth; this requirement stems from the most ancient of times when there were no written records, and proof only held credibility if could be verified by an eye witness. Hence witnesses is understandable and born of sound cultural commonsense or the unscrupulous would have used handfasting to benefit themselves at the expense of others. However if there were no other fellow humans available to be witnesses, due to exceptional circumstances, then a couple would be just as adequately joined with only the Divine presence.

So let us be very clear about the differences between the Rite of Handfasting and that of Marriage , whether this be Christian marriage , or Muslim, or even Jewish etc.; know that it is not just the ritual format that differs, there is a far more important fundamental difference. Within the symbolic bonds of Handfasting is the acceptance that ‘nothing stays the same’; any union between two living energies is constantly evolving, just as are the two individuals themselves, and therefore it will be constantly subjected to changes. This makes the future as fickle as Nature herself, and as unpredictable as the weather and bears stark contrast to the wedding vows within modern religious marriages where an oath of truth is required and the truth of the wedding moment is perceived as rigid and enforceable by religious doctrine, thus running the risk of becoming a burden not a blessing within the lives of the couple.

The uncompromising truth of the spoken wedding vow within modern religions becomes

‘written in stone’ from the moment each says “I do”, binding the couple “till death do ye part”. However even present day judicial law accepts that truth is circumspect, it changes through time and with the pressures brought to bear from other influences and additional acquired knowledge.

Time brings maturity, and as we grow so we get wiser, as life reveals more facets of strength and weakness within ourselves and our partner. This evolving often causes partners to no longer perceive the same shared truth that they once agreed upon at their moment of marriage, they become incompatible with this additional knowledge.

Unlike most other marriage ceremonies a pagan ‘fasting’ is a togetherness that can be untied, just as it was tied; with the same integrity and love, in the mutual pursuit of truth and happiness, the knot can be untied and the couple released. This makes the pagan

‘Handfasting’ a wonderful celebration of positivism, for the joys and happiness of the moment are not overshadowed by worries of the future; the couple can relax and know that they can and will cross tomorrow’s bridges if and when they come to them.

Further more at the end of the Handfasting ritual the broom is jumped by both partners equally, (whether literally or just symbolically), who are then sent forth by the minister or priestess into their new life together on equal terms as an equal loving couple. In the Christian wedding service the bride and groom are sent forth with the words, “I now pronounce you man and wife”. Well how equal is that? They should surely be “Husband and wife”, but obviously the church is still happy to perpetuate gender supremacy.

Handfasting demonstrates to the whole of humanity the Pagan acceptance and desire to treat each and every individual as equal; to value them for their self worth and not be held fettered or even influenced by religion or cultural politics. The world needs to return to these simple values.